Album Review - Eurovision Song Contest Copenhagen 2014

Another year, another Eurovision, and another strong, diverse selection of songs. Plus, of course, the odd stinker.

 

Disc: 1

1. One Night's Anger - Hersi  (Albania) 
   A rather inoffensive Celtic ballad that builds and builds to a nicely rocky climax. The vocals are somewhat unusual, but the melody is strong.

2. Not Alone - Aram MP3  (Armenia) 
   The bookies' favourite begins as a rather nondescript, repetitive ballad but gradually builds to a full-on dupstep climax. For me, there are far stronger ballads this year, but it's pretty good and Aram sings very well.

3. Rise Like A Phoenix - Conchita Wurst  (Austria) 
   The Bond theme that never was. Think Diamonds Are Forever for the 21st Century, performed by a bearded drag queen. Fabulous.

4. Start A Fire - Dilara Kazimova  (Azerbaijan) 
   A surprisingly forgettable entry from the Azeris this year, it's a piano-led, female-vocal ballad. It's all very lovely and Dilara's voice is gorgeous, but you won't be humming it afterwards.

5. Mother - Axel Hirsoux  (Belgium) 
   A big, emotional ballad sung by a cross between Paul Potts and Rik Waller.

6. Cheesecake - Teo  (Belarus) 
   Finally, we move away from the ballads. What we do get, however, is a Robin Thicke-style sleazefest. It has a distinctive, modern RnB vibe but the silly lyrics do more harm than good.

7. Hunter Of Stars - Sebalter  (Switzerland) 
   This is the first of many folk/country/bluegrass entries this year. This one's up-tempo, with a very catchy, whistled hook.

8. Is It Right - Elaiza  (Germany) 
   A somewhat stompy mid-tempo song that has a unique sound in this year's selection. Elaiza has a terrific voice, very reminiscent of P!nk.

9. Cliché Love Song - Basim  (Denmark) 
   Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be Bruno Mars. A song that definitely lives up to its title, we kick things off with a "scooby-dooby-dap-dap-diddy-die" in a seriously divisive, cheesy retro song that I simply adore. Douze points.

10. Amazing - Tanja  (Estonia) 
    It's quite a surprise to make it to song 10 before we get to the first truly up-tempo track that's pure Europop. And it's fab. There have been complaints that it sounds a lot like 2012 winner Euphoria, but it's different enough to me.

11. Dancing In The Rain - Ruth Lorenzo  (Spain) 
    Yes, it's the former contestant from The X Factor (UK) with the very big voice. She treats us to a rather magnificent mid-tempo ballad (think Beyonce's Halo in Spanglish) and her vocals are phenomenal.

12. Something Better - Softengine  (Finland) 
    The increasingly-rare sight of a rock act at Eurovision comes this year courtesy of these teenagers. Of course, by "rock" we're talking more Busted than Iron Maiden. But it was first of this year's songs to get stuck in my head.

13. Moustache - TWIN TWIN  (France) 
    If this was given to radio stations and credited to Pitbull, it would be played constantly and almost a dead-cert as a Number 1. That's not necessarily intended as a compliment, but it's catchy as hell, even though it's sung in French.

14. Children Of The Universe - Molly  (UK) 
    A lot of people are declaring this the UK's second coming to Eurovision, and it has echoes of Frances Ruffelle's UK entry from 20 years ago, Lonely Symphony. Yes, it has a contemporary sound, but not really one you'd hear on Radio 1. When the BBC playlist Eurovision songs, especially ones they've picked with no public consultation, then I'll believe they're taking it seriously. That said, I like it.

15. Three Minutes To Earth - The Shin and Mariko  (Georgia) 
    This year's "WTF?" entry. The rambling, yodelling introduction goes on for far too long, and things don't improve once the Shakira-esque vocals kick in. Three Minutes In Hell, more like. Nul points.

16. Rise Up - Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd  (Greece) 
    Don't be fooled by the old-fashioned traditional-sounding funeral march of an intro. This quickly transforms in to a modern, dancey up-tempo mix of synth sounds and trumpets (think Sam and the Womp). Again, not necessarily a compliment, but it's repetitive enough to be memorable.

17. Running - András Kállay-Saunders  (Hungary) 
    A rather downbeat ballad about an abused child suddenly kicks into an up-tempo drum n bass chorus that's catchy in a good way, whilst managing to avoid a shift in tone.

18. Heartbeat - Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith  (Ireland) 
    The winner of this year's "Let's Copy Last Year's Winner" award is passed from Germany to Ireland. Although, to be fair, the Celtic sounds are more synonymous with Irish Eurovision entries than Danish ones, so you can certainly forgive them for this catchy, upbeat pop track decorated with thumping drums and fiddles. Still sounds like Only Teardrops though.

19. Same Heart - Mei Finegold  (Israel) 
    Israel takes the rock-chick approach this year, with this ballsy, bilingual, up-tempo number.

Disc: 2

1. No Prejudice - Pollapönk  (Iceland) 
   Eurovision goes punk! Well, sort of. At times, it has that early-80s/Arctic Monkeys feel of a song that was recorded in someone's garage. However, these guys clearly don't take themselves too seriously as this fun, up-tempo rocker puts its serious message forward in a humorous way. Take THAT, Russia!

2. La Mia Città - Emma Marrone  (Italy) 
   Italy also takes the rock-chick approach this year, also with an up-tempo ballsy number. In Italian.

3. Attention - Vilija Mataciunaite  (Lithuania)
   Screechy, horrid electro-pop that has been over-produced as much as possible as if to actually hide the non-existent song. Ugh.

4. Cake To Bake - Aarzemnieki  (Latvia) 
   Adorably silly, folksy ditty about a guy who can do anything, except bake a cake. Bizarre, catchy and loads of fun.

5. Wild Soul - Crisitina Scarlat  (Moldova) 
   A pretty non-existent and forgettable song is drowned in production in a way that actually works. Great vocals too.

6. Moj Svijet - Sergej Cetkovic  (Montenegro) 
   A lovely mid-tempo Celtic ballad, full of lush strings, pan pipes, crashing drums and beautiful vocals. If THIS was the favourite, I'd understand better.

7. To The Sky - Tijana  (Macedonia) 
   Another over-produced track that disguises a song with a lot of potential. As it is, it's pretty good, but gets a bit muddled around the second half.

8. Coming Home - Firelight  (Malta) 
   A refreshing, breezy, rather moving folksy semi-acoustic number that evokes Mumford & Sons and Gary Barlow's Let Me Go. I love it.

9. Calm After The Storm - The Common Linnets  (Netherlands) 
   As nondescript as a song can get, it's a pretty dour goes-nowhere country ballad. That said, it's far from terrible, and makes for a pleasant, if forgettable three minutes.

10. Silent Storm - Carl Espen  (Norway) 
    Now if you're going to do a dour, goes-nowhere ballad, THIS is how you do it. A stand-out, for the right reasons. Simple, yet moving and very powerful.

11. My Slowianie - We Are Slavic - Donatan & Cleo  (Poland) 
    Ouch, my ears. Screechy, irritating, shouty and painful to listen to. The English version is much more tolerable, and could even pass muster as a Beyoncé song (again, not necessarily a compliment.) But this bilingual version is just horrid.

12. Quero Ser Tua - Suzy (Portugal) 
    With its full-on Latin rhythms, this track has a pure Mardi Gras party vibe. Whilst my Portuguese isn't strong enough for me to have any idea what she's singing, there plenty of whoa-oh-ohs to sing a long to.

13. Miracle - Paula Seling & Ovi (Romania) 
    Having scored Romania's best result in 2010 (third), the duo are back with a lesser, but still strong up-tempo dance/pop song.

14. Shine - Tolmachevy Sisters  (Russia) 
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It's an insipid ballad sung in unison by two evidently immature voices. Nothing special, at all. Which is just as well, as if it is indeed "all political", Russia are surely getting no votes this year. "Telling all the world to show some love..." F*** you, Russia. You first.

15. Undo - Sanna Nielsen  (Sweden) 
    A big, produced ballad, complete with the obligatory "doosh... key change" moment. Still pretty good though, despite the poor grammar. "Undo my sad", indeed.

16. Spet/Round And Round - Tinkara Kovač (Slovenia) 
    Another bilingual, Celtic-inspired song with flutes and seductive rhythms, this is a real grower. It's songs like this that make me love Eurovison, as it's not the kind of thing I'm likely to hear anywhere else.

17. Maybe (Forse) - Valentina Monetta  (San Marino) 
    Back for the third consecutive year, Valentina enters a carbon-copy of her entry from last year, Chrysalide. It's not offensive, and builds nicely as it shifts from ballad to something more up-tempo. However, it is difficult to imagine anybody getting excited about it.

18. Tick-Tock - Mariya Yaremchuk (Ukraine)
    A surprisingly weak effort from the usually reliable Ukraine, but this upbeat, poppy song is still strong enough to be in the better half.

19. Rainmaker - Emmelie de Forest  (Bonus, Denmark) 
    Not a contender in this year's competition, just a bonus track that's this year's "theme" song, courtesy of last year's winner. It's not a million miles away from Only Teardrops either, but is certainly better than Loreen's 2013 theme, We Have The Power.