Wednesday 1 May 2013

Album Review - Eurovision Song Contest, Malmo 2013

I say it every year, but it's that time of year again.

1 Albania - Identitet - Adrian Lulgjuraj, Bledar Sejko
The album kicks off with the only true rock song of the contest. The gruff vocals of the first singer are a bit off-putting, followed by the equally off-putting strained vocals of the second. However, the music track is nicely produced, with a pretty interesting, jangly refrain, and the chorus is rather rousing.

2 Armenia - Lonely Planet - Dorians
Co-written by Tommy Iommi of Black Sabbath fame, this is a surprisingly insipid ballad with clichéd lyrics and feeble vocals. By no means dreadful, but one I'm unlikely to listen to after the contest.

3 Austria - Shine - Natália Kelly
A thumping, stompy production kicks things off, and the vocals are strong. The melody and lyrics ensure that the chorus is suitably singalong, but it doesn't really do anything special or go anywhere interesting.

4 Azerbaijan - Hold Me - Farid Mammadov
Azerbaijan have certainly found their Eurovision formula and are sticking to it, i.e. big ballad (usually written by a Swede). This year's is one of their weakest yet, bearing an ill-advised key change that sounds conspicuous, rather than rousing. The vocals don't really get much better than adequate... and yet it all still kind of works.

5 Belgium - Love Kills - Roberto Bellarosa
Absolutely my cup of tea. A lively, melodic song that builds and builds with a production that really sells the song, especially when the rather weak vocalist can't.

6 Bulgaria - Samo Shampioni (Only Champions) - Elitsa Todorova, Stoyan Yankoulov
Thumping (though fake-sounding) drums accompany a repetitive electronic riff and ethnic instruments as they fire headlong into the extremely catchy chorus that you will be singing along to by the end. Unfortunately, that's not a good thing, as the melody is exceptionally irritating.

7 Belarus - Solayoh - Alyona Lanskaya
On first listen, I couldn't help but hear the similaities between Ukraine's winner, Wild Dances, as its distinctive drum patterns sound shockingly familiar. However, once you get over that, you actually get a pretty decent example of one of those ethnic pop songs you only hear in Eurovision. This one you won't mind singing along to.

8 Switzerland - You And Me - Takasa
Off to a flying start with its pounding drums, guitar riff and chants of "Hey!", this is another of my favourites with its rather pleasant, rousing singalong chorus and sweet, feel-good lyrics.

9 Cyprus - An Me Thimáse - Despina Olympiou
Every contest has more than its fair share of female-led ballads, and this year's is no exception. Here is the first, and it's arguably the most anonymous of them. Sweet, melodic, but not especially memorable, it's a pleasant three minutes but even the obligatory key change can't save this from obscurity.

10 Germany - Glorious - Cascada
Cascada give us pretty much exactly what you'd expect from Cascada- a thumping, catchy dance track that'll get you moving and singing along. Yes, it's almost identical to last year's winner, Euphoria, but that's far from a bad thing.

11 Denmark - Only Teardrops - Emmelie de Forest
Tin whistles, thumping Celtic drums, and pleas for world peace. It doesn't get more Eurovision than that, and Denmark continue their run of very strong entries with this irresistible song.

12 Estonia - Et Uus Saaks Alguse - Birgit Öigemeel
Of the anonymous female-led ballads, this is probably my favourite. Her voice is gorgeous, the production fits the melody like a glove and bears a heart-stopping break towards the end that shows how a key change should be done.

13 Spain - Constigo Hasta El Final (With You Until The End) - ESDM
Truly insipid, but inoffensive. Next...

14 Finland - Marry Me - Krista Siegfrids
Cheesy, trashy, catchy. Great fun. This is another "typical Eurovision" song that's very different from the other "typical Eurovision" songs this year. There are plenty of memorable moments to keep this one in your head.

15 France - L'Enfer Et Moi - Amandine Bourgeois
A nice breath of fresh air, this one. More pounding drums, but this one leads into a sensual, mature, mid-tempo ballad that just screams of Girl Power. It builds into a bit of a cacophony towards the end, but makes up for it in its final moments.

16 United Kingdom - Believe In Me - Bonnie Tyler
I always find it difficult being objective about the UK entry, and this year's is no exception. It's definitely the kind of song I would adore with or without Eurovision, and I love Bonnie's distinctive vocals. A nice country-esque, laid back ballad that should get you swaying along.

17 Georgia - Waterfall - Nodi Tatishvili, Sophie Gelovani
Pure Euovision cheese, by the numbers. And I absolutely love it. Big Eurovision ballads don't come bigger or more Eurovision than this finely-crafted duet. It may be too mechanical for some, but it's the kind of song I tune into Eurovision to hear.

18 Greece - Alcohol is Free - Koza Mostra, Agathon Iakovidis
I can't quite work out if they're serious or not. It begins with a traditional Greek influence before switching to an old-school two-tone ska vibe. A definite challenger for my nil points.

19 Croatia - Mižerja - Klapa s Mora
This is a pretty glossy, classy, sub-operatic number sung Il Divo-style by a male vocal group. One for the nans. Nice.

20 Hungary - Kedvesem (Zoohacker Remix) - ByeAlex
One of those songs you could easily dismiss on first listen, but it's repetitive, insanely catchy, and a real grower. It's let down by the gruff vocals of the male singer, but has oodles of laid-back charm.

21 Ireland - Only Love Survives - Ryan Dolan
Again with the drums, along with a pounding pop-dance production. Reminds me a bit of Sweden's "Popular" from a few years ago. It's nothing spectacularly memorable, but has more than its fair share of hooks.

22 Israel - Rak Bishvilo - Moran Mazor
We're back on the female ballads, and back down the drearier end. But it's still a strong song, and surprisingly capable of a singalong for a song in an unfamiliar language.

23 Iceland - Ég á Líf - Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson
One of the few male-led ballads, this one falls somewhere in the middle of this year's pack. You can pretty much tell where it's going as soon as the chorus starts, and it is one of those songs that sounds like a song you've heard before, but can't quite put your finger on where.

24 Italy - L'Essenziale - Marco Mengoni
Another credible entry from Italy, this time a piano-led ballad from a male vocalist that doesn't really go anywhere particularly memorable, but is pleasant enough.

25 Lithuania - Something - Andrius Pojavis
A weird one this. By no means hard on the ears, it's an up-tempo pop number with a rock edge and a pleasant melody. I can't put my finger on why, as there's nothing wrong with the song, but this is instantly forgettable. It's missing... "something".

26 Latvia - Here We Go - PeR
The first of two entries this year where Eurovision does rap, but this one comes with an insanely catchy and memorable chorus that you can not only sing along to, but you get the chance to play a bit of air-trumpet to too. Toot toot.

27 Moldova - O Mie - Aliona Moon
One of the superior female-led ballads, it's strong in melody, has a nicely ethereal piano-led production, and bears some great vocals.

28 Montenegro - Who See - Igranka
Eurovision goes dubstep! For real. Think DJ Fresh's "Louder" and you'll be in the ball park. Except it's not in English, and nowhere near as good.

29 (Former Yugoslavian Republic of) Macedonia - Pred Da Se Razdeni - Esma & Lozano
This begins as a rather lovely male-led ballad. Then it all goes horribly wrong, as the female vocalist starts her literal wailing. Basically, this is two incongruous songs joined together. Poorly. And only one of them is any good.

30 Malta - Tomorrow - Gianluca Bezzina
A sweet, irresistible ukulele-led up-tempo ballad. Think Jack Johnson meets Jason Mraz. Another grower.

31 Netherlands - Birds - Anouk
A female-led ballad, but one that's very, VERY different from the others. In that the vocals are like nails on a blackboard, the melody is a dreary, jazzy affair and the lyrics are beyond stupid. Hideous.

32 Norway - I Feed You My Love - Margaret Berger
Straight out of the gate, its buzzy production gets right in your face as the somewhat sweet female vocals float playfully over the top, before bursting into a killer chorus. Yes, the lyrics are a bit bizarre but I kind of like how alienating this song will be to many.

33 Romania - It's My Life - Cezar
This one needs to be heard to be believed. At first, it sounds like the vocalist is struggling to hit the low notes. But fear not- pretty rapidly, the pitch goes up. And up. And up. And then stays there. And as if the struggling operatic falsetto wasn't bizarre enough (and it certainly is), the whole thing is put to a very computerised pop-dance track. The resulting incongruous fusion only cheapens what could have been a pretty decent song, and makes a well-respected operatic vocalist sounding like he can't sing. A car crash.

34 Serbia - Ljubav Je Svuda - Moje 3
I can see what they're trying to do, but they just don't quite get there. I'm sure that there may be a fun pop song hidden in there somewhere, but it's well buried under some screechy and irritating vocals.

35 Russia - What If - Dina Garipova
A truly cloying female-led ballad about peace. From Russia. With (insincere) love. Actually, it's pretty good.

36 Sweden - You - Robin Stjernberg
By no means subtle, this one starts off like an acoustic mid-tempo track before exploding into a massive singalong dance anthem. It may be a bit on the shouty side for many, but I love it.

37 Slovenia - Straight Into Love - Hannah
More in-your-face, buzzy pop production, this one builds nicely with its verses before arriving at its hugely disappointing chorus- one that manages to be even more disappointing second time around. The female vocals become little more than random screeching by the end.

38 San Marino - Crisalide (Vola) - Valentina Monetta
A classy, female-led ballad, this one doesn't really do anything special for me, even when it takes an unexpected (though not unwelcome) gear shift in its final third.

39 Ukraine - Gravity - Zlata Ognevich
And last, but by no means least, we have Ukraine. One of those countries to watch since their arrival just a decade ago, they're back with one of their strongest entries yet. A massively produced mid-tempo ballad, it falls somewhere between a West End musical number and a Disney ballad, complete with African-chant-style backing vocals and some absolutely phenomenal vocals from Zlata. This girl can SING! And, most importantly, chooses to do so without resorting to the hideous post-Mariah yodelling that has become the norm. We have ended on a high.

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