Album Review - Eurovision Song Contest Baku 2012

It's that time of year again...

1. Rona Nishliu - Suus (Albania)
There are a lot of rather anonymous ballads this year, and it doesn't get much more anonymous than this. Whilst there's little that's offensive going on here, there's nothing especially memorable either. We do get a bit of Björk-esque wailing, but the song couldn't be more different from her music.

2. Trackshittaz - Woki Mit Deim Popo (Austria)
With the "w" pronounced as a "v" this sounds like an inappropriate usage of faeces, but I'm reliably informed it translates as "shake your bum". As rap entries go, this one is infuriatingly catchy. The chorus is hugely memorable and the insistent beat is somewhat infectious. It's absolutely terrible, of course, and yet I can't help but smile and chant along every time. (Woop! Woop!)

3. Sabina Babayeva - When The Music Dies (Azerbaijan)
Reigning champions Azerbaijan opt for yet another ballad, but this one is not quite up to their recent standard. It starts off in a lower register that doesn't sound altogether pleasant, but does build to a rousing chorus featuring a refrain of "cold, cold, cold" that could get stuck in your head.

4. Maya Sar - Korake Ti Znam (Bosnia & Herzegovina)
Yet another ballad, and yet another one of the more forgettable ones. I'd elaborate, but there is little distinctive about it. It has some Celtic pan pipes towards the end, if that helps.

5. Iris - Would You (Belgium)
Iris, bless her, doesn't have the greatest voice in the world, and this ballad might be amazing in the hands of a true powerhouse vocalist. Whilst it's definitely one of the more melodic ballads, it doesn't make enough of an impact on first listen, but it is a grower.

6. Sofi Marinova - Love Unlimited (Bulgaria)
Featuring the kind of production that was in vogue at the turn of the millennium, this dance track might sound great in a club, and is certainly one of the more contemporary-sounding songs that wouldn't sound out of place in the charts. Think Inna.

7. Litesound - We Are The Heroes (Belarus)
Beginning with a ballad fake-out, this soon turns into a pop-dance floor filler with a rousing, singalong chorus. I recommend hunting down the original, rockier mix that was far superior.

8. Sinplus - Unbreakable (Switzerland)
The first of this year's pop-rock anthems (now, anyway), it's pretty catchy in a blandly enjoyable kind of way that may find itself lodged in your head.

9. Ivi Adamou - La La Love (Cyprus)
One of the strongest tracks this year, it's a real club-thumping stomper of a track that wouldn't sound out of place on a Rihanna album. Deserves to be a huge chart hit.

10. Roman Lob - Standing Still (Germany)
One of the stronger slow tracks, it begins as a mid-tempo piano ballad that builds nicely with a slight rock edge. Definitely one of this year's more credible tracks.

11. Soluna Samay - Should've Known Better (Denmark)
This mid-tempo acoustic ballad is instantly catchy. Think Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn", and you'll be in the ball park. It's only let down a little by the mid-section when the rather lovely chorus wanders away, but it's one of my favourites.

12. Ott Lepland - Kuula (Estonia)
A full-on piano ballad, but the first with a male vocal. It's on the stronger end of the scale than most of its ballad competitors.

13. Pastora Soler - Quédate Conmigo (Stay With Me) (Spain)
Arguably the biggest of this year's big ballads, Soler sings her heart out with a song that's full of drama and big notes and a chorus even an Anglophone can sing along to.

14. Pernilla - När Jag Blundar (Finland)
A rather lovely little waltzy ballad, there's little memorable about this one, but it's definitely at worst a pleasant distraction.

15. Anggun - Echo (You and I) (France)
A rather catchy if unremarkable up-tempo pop song with a memorable whistled hook. The song is a little schizophrenic in its production and tempo, but has a familiar feel. Despite its title, it's sung mostly in French.

16. Engelbert Humperdinck - Love Will Set You Free (UK)
The controversial British entry is actually a decent acoustic ballad with a playful melody and strong vocals from "The Hump". Whilst I can't say it makes a huge impact, I can't deny that I enjoy it when it's on.

17. Anri Jokhadze - I'm A Joker (Georgia)
Deep sigh. Here we go. It's one of THOSE Eurovision songs that drags the contest into disrepute and deserves disappear into the anus of forgotten entries. Little more than a list of dreadfully tenuous rhymes with "joker", he's clearly having a ball at a party I can't wait to leave.

18. Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac (Greece)
One of the more memorable and credible club anthems, but with a sprinkling of Eastern vibes, it's like the best song Shakira never recorded, but with less irritating vocals. Its "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" chorus would also sound great on a dancefloor. Another favourite of mine, it does indeed make me dance, dance like a maniac.

19. Nina Badric - Nebo (Croatia)
In a year of many ballads, good and bad, this falls somewhere in the middle. The song's hook largely falls onto some background bell chimes in the chorus. Beginning with a weak, sparse intro, it soon builds and builds to hugely rousing, choral climax.

20. Compact Disco - Sound Of Our Hearts (Hungary)
My personal favourite of this year's ballads, the production reminds me a lot of Madonna's "The Power of Good-bye". Some might consider it bland, generic and over-familiar, but there's nothing wrong with that. Love it.

21. Jedward - Waterline (Ireland)
Let's face it, last year's "Lipstick" was pure genius. 5 seconds in, it was stuck in your head. This is a far more generic pop-rock song and its lack of gimmicks make it much less memorable. But it's Jedward, so I'm sure they'll find some way to stick in people's minds, as the song surely won't.

22. Izabo - Time (Israel)
Much like last year's Sebian entry, this captures that '60s Carnaby Street vibe, but with a sprinkling of '90s Britpop. In other words, it's as irritating as it is catchy. Which is very.

23. Greta Salóme & Jónsi - Never Forget (Iceland)
An epic Celtic ballad whose production instantly conjures mental images of forests, swords, fur coats and leather trousers. The specific melody may not stick in your head, but it will surely be remembered as "that Game of Thrones-y one I quite liked". Very strong.

24. Nina Zilli - L'Amore E' Femmina (Out Of Love) (Italy)
Instantly infectious, it mixes a ballsy attitude with a retro vibe to great effect. Think the perfect blend of Sandie Shaw and Amy Winehouse.

25. Donny Montell - Love Is Blind (Lithuania)
A bit of a mess, to put it mildly. Jumping around in style, from ballad to poor '90s disco production and back again, you can't help but feel there's a song in there somewhere trying to get out, but failing. By no means terrible, but I don't know what Lithuania were thinking entering this.

26. Anmary - Beautiful Song (Latvia)
There's something oddly sweet about the sentiment of this song, hoping that if she wins she (and the song) will become hugely successful. Neither is going to happen, but there is a rather lovely melody in there. Unfortunately something has become lost in the execution, and the weak vocals aren't helping.

27. Pasha Parfeny - Lautar (Moldova)
An odd title for a song in English (unless it's a person's name?) this should have been called Trumpet, and is one of those Eurovision songs that would never ever chart in the UK, and whilst it definitely doesn't even make my top 20 it does have a certain inexplicable appeal.

28. Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro (Montenegro)
This sounds like an old man grumbling over the bassline from Chemical Brothers' "Block Rocking Beats". There is very little singing involved, if any. Hands-down the worst song this year.

29. Kaliopi - Crno I Belo (FYR Macedonia)
Back to the anonymous female-led piano ballads. At least this one makes an ill-advised rockout in the second half that comes out of nowhere and disappears just as suddenly.

30. Kurt Calleja - This Is The Night (Malta)
Starting off promising, this has some nice chords and builds nicely to a hugely disappointing chorus. It almost redeems itself with a rather catchy "hey-ey-ey-ey-e-yay" refrain, but not quite.

31. Joan Franka - You And Me (Netherlands)
A folksy, acoustic song with a light country vibe, it has oodles of charm and I defy you to listen without swaying or rocking your shoulders.

32. Tooji - Stay (Norway)
Bits of this song are ace, in particular the bridge and the first half of the chorus, but the very irritating production throws in these horrid buzzes and alarm-like synth noises that stop me from loving this as much as I otherwise might.

33. Filipa Sousa - Vida Minha (Portugal)
The anonymous ballads resume. This one has more of an Eastern vibe, but is no more memorable for it.

34. Mandinga - Zaleilah (Romania)
Daft, gimmicky, playful and insanely catchy. Horns and accordions over a dance beat, it's a fine slice of Eurovision cheese.

35. Zeljko Joksimovic - Nije Ljubav Stvar (Serbia)
With a melody that reminds me of Coldplay's "Paradise" at times, this male-fronted piano ballad is full of Eastern promise, featuring a string-laden, thumping production.

36. Buranovskiye Babushki (Buranovo Grannies) - Party For Everybody (Russia)
Ask most people in the UK what they expect from Eurovision, and this will likely be what springs to mind. Beginning promisingly with a Lion King-like chant, it soon deteriorates out of nowhere into an excruciating pop-Cossack crossover that you will NOT get out of your head. But in a very bad way. UK voters will love it, in a rubbernecking-a-car-crash kind of way.

37. Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden)
Now we're talking. With David Guetta consistently riding high in the UK singles chart, why this hasn't been picked up by radio and become a monster hit in the UK already mystifies me. Easily the best entry this year, this could potentially give Eurovision music some much-needed credibility with British music buyers. The best example this year of a stomping club anthem, I'd love to see this fly u-u-u-u-u-u-up the UK charts.

38. Eva Boto - Verjamem (Slovenia)
And we arrive at the final ballad, and this one builds and builds. Throwing in harps, flutes, a military beat, and some VERY big notes, it ends just as you feel it's starting to go somewhere.

39. Max Jason Mai - Don't Close Your Eyes (Slovakia)
Eurovision goes Emo! Sounding like across between 30 Seconds to Mars and Panic at the Disco, the song has a rather melodic chorus, wrapped up in heavy guitars and wailing vocals. I have mixed feelings about it.

40. Valentina Monetta - The Social Network Song (Oh Oh - Uh - Oh Oh) (San Marino)
Originally titled "Facebook", this had to be re-recorded for breaching rules about advertising trademarked names. So "Facebook" was replaced with "Woah-oh"s and "hello"s, but I can't say the song has suffered any, as it was pretty dreadful to begin with. Valentina's inept vocals are smothered in auto tune and she's clearly at least double the age of the character she appears to be playing in a song full of cheap innuendo. Inappropriate, creepy, cheesy and just plain wrong.

41. Can Bonomo - Love Me Back (Turkey)
A sea shanty stretched out far beyond its welcome, this is simply fucking awful. But still not as bad as Euro Neuro. "Like me like I like you and say na na na na ne na ne na." Poetry.

42. Gaitana - Be My Guest (Ukraine)
Gaitana's vocals are very reminiscent of Anastacia's, and the song is all fun, positivity and P.A.R.T.Y. It's a singalong Anthem with a capital A, ending the album on a definite high.

Album Review - Madonna, "MDNA"

It's been four long years since Madonna's last full studio album, Hard Candy, and bar a few bonus tracks on hits compilation Celebration, there's been a bit of a drought for Madonna fans, leaving a Lady Gaga-sized gap in the market.

The "comeback" album, MDNA, opens with its second single, Girl Gone Wild, and the tone of what is to come is set up rather accurately. This is not Madonna as we've known her before. A treble-heavy, squelchy techno score sets the backdrop for almost every track. This album makes her previously most experimental phase (Music/American Life) sound positively bubblegum. This is no invitation to get Into The Groove. She wants you to get off your tits. It's more hardcore dance than she's ever been before, having collaborated with some of the world's biggest dance producers.

The lyrics inform you that this Madonna not on her best behaviour, and she's revelling in it. She hasn't had his much fun being bad since Erotica 20 years ago. There are some moments of frivolity, but she clearly has a few demons to exorcise.

Girl Gone Wild is clearly one of the Benny Benassi tracks, sounding exactly like every other Benny Benassi track (including his remix of her own Celebration, which, regrettably, was used for the video).

The scene set by the opener is furthered by the next track, the driving, angry, Gang Bang. Relatively tuneless and pretty much going nowhere, it still somehow manages to pack a hefty punch. Whilst it may not be what I've come to expect (nor want) from Madonna, this is not someone simply being lazy. The melodic understatement is clearly intentional, as it's still infuriatingly catchy. Although the shout of "die, bitch!" make me yearn for Thief of Hearts.

She takes the clubby setting one step further with I'm Addicted, in which she chants either MDNA or MDMA (which, I'm reliably informed, is the active chemical of ecstasy). The confusion is clearly no accident, and it's difficult not to get hooked into the track.

Turn Up The Radio is a highlight, and one of the few moments where her familiar pop melodies can be found- and even this sounds more like a remix of a Madonna song than a Madonna song. This one's clearly co-produced by Martin Solveig, reminding me of his massively catchy hits Hello and Ready To Go.

By the time disappointing first single Give Me All Your Luvin' arrives, it's a breath of fresh air; vibrant, melodic and memorable. If only it made as big an impression in isolation as a single. MIA and Nicki Minaj pop up for some urban credibility, but little else.

Some Girls initially returns the album to driving, tuneless pulsating, then suddenly pulls a killer chorus out of its sleeve, and Superstar keeps the singalong melodies coming. Things are looking up.

I Don't Give A gives Nicki Minaj a bit more to do, and sees Madonna in typically reflective mood, herself spitting a rap a la American Life, before the track stops and suddenly builds to an epic, choral climax that sounds like the soundtrack to a Hammer Horror.

I'm A Sinner is clearly a William Orbit production, bearing flashes of Beautiful Stranger and Amazing. It does pale to both by comparison, but is a welcome return to a familiar form.

It sounds like she was playing Tetris whilst recording Love Spent, which features familiar, playful, electronic beeps and bleeps. She clearly isn't happy with Mr. Richie. You feel she is trying desperately to be objective, but considers him an avaricious bastard. Those who pre-ordered the album in iTunes will have had their (heavily required) patience rewarded with a bonus track, an acoustic version of this song. Frankly, it's better.

Masterpiece, the closing ballad (and highlight) of her best-forgotten movie W./E., has its lovely moments, its infectious mix of hand-clappy, acoustic beats and hints of the sweeping orchestral arrangements as brought by Craig Armstrong on the hugely acclaimed Ray of Light album. This is brought out in force in Falling Free, whose positively sparse production, consisting almost entirely of strings, still somehow manages to bear the hallmarks of MDNA. The minimalism showcases her vocals, and they sound gorgeous, delivered with the emotion, authority and sensitivity that I've always loved about her voice.

Eschewing her traditional ballad comedown to close the album, she reminds us she means business with Beautiful Killer, putting the album back into full gear and giving us a nicely meaty vocal melody that wouldn't have sounded out of place between Impressive Instant and Runaway Lover on Music. The closing gunshot ends both the song and the album appropriately. Like it or not, mission accomplished.

There are a few bonus tracks on the Deluxe Edition that deserve a mention.

First up is I Fucked Up. You probably did not assume from the title that it is, in fact, an oddly sweet up-tempo ballad. Not since Nobody's Perfect has she been so honestly contrite, and it's quite heart-breaking, especially towards the end as the tempo and lyrics take a flight of fancy before crashing back to reality. It's actually an album highlight, well deserving of a spot on the main album.

MIA's second appearance, B-Day Song, is simply a piece of crap. The new Happy Birthday To You this is not. Sounding like the lyrics were made up on the spot, it's childish and irritating, and I feel embarrassed just listening to it. I can't believe it was not only recorded, but released.

Best Friend is instantly forgettable, but pleasant enough while it's on, as she finally finds the objectivity that eluded her in Love Spent. Much like I Fucked Up, it's refreshingly respectful to the father of her eldest son.

Welcome back, M. I'm already looking forward hopefully to the next one, but this grower will certainly fill the gap.

Eurovision 2011 Results

For the sake of posterity, here are the results of The Eurovision Song Contest Final 2011.

50% was public televote, 50% was jury votes. This year's sees the biggest discrepancies in the 50/50 system so far. All three results are published here, with stats on how the jury vote affected the public televote.

1. Azerbaijan’s Ell & Nikki with “Running Scared” (221) (public: 1st/jury: 2nd)
2. Italy’s Raphael Gualazzi with “Madness of Love” (189) (public: 11th/jury: 1st)
3. Sweden’s Eric Saade with “Popular” (185) (public: 2nd/jury: 9th)
4. Ukraine’s Mika Newton with “Angel” (159) (public: 4th/jury: 7th)
5. Denmark’s A Friend in London with “New Tomorrow” (134) (public: 18th/jury: 3rd)
6. Bosnia’s Dino Merlin with “Love in Rewind” (125) (public: 6th/jury: 11th)
7. Greece’s Loukas Giorkas feat. Stereo Mike with “Watch My Dance” (120) (public: 3rd/jury: 14th)
8. Ireland’s Jedward with “Lipstick” (119) (public: 10th/jury: 6th)
9. Georgia’s Eldrine with “One More Day” (110) (public: 7th/jury: 17th)
10. Germany’s Lena with “Taken By a Stranger” (107) (public: 9th/jury: 10th)
11. The United Kingdom’s Blue with “I Can” (100) (public: 5th/jury: 22nd)
12. Moldova’s Zdob si Zdub with “So Lucky” (97) (public: 15th/jury: 12th)
13. Slovenia’s Maja Keuc with “No One” (96) (public: 22nd/jury: 4th)
14. Serbia’s Nina with “Caroban” (85) (public: 13th/jury: 8th)
15. France’s Amaury Vassili with “Sognu” (82) (public: 15th/jury: 12th)
16. Russia’s Alexey Vorobyov with “Get You” (77) (public: 8th/jury: 25th)
17. Romania’s Hotel FM with “Change” (77) (public: 14th/jury: 13th)
18. Austria’s Nadine Beiler with “The Secret is Love” (64) (public: 24th/jury: 5th)
19. Lithuania’s Evelina Sašenko with “C’est Ma Vie” (63) (public: 20th/jury: 20th)
20. Iceland’s Sjonni’s Friends with “Coming Home” (61) (public: 19th/jury: 19th)
21. Finland’s Paradise Oskar with “Da Da Dam” (57) (public: 21st/jury: 16th)
22. Hungary’s Kati Wolf with “What About My Dreams?” (53) (public: 17th/jury: 21st)
23. Spain’s Lucia Perez with “Que me quiten lo bailao” (50) (public: 16th/jury: 24th)
24. Estonia’s Getter Jaani with “Rockefeller Street” (44) (public: 23rd/jury: 18th)
25. Switzerland’s Anna Rossinelli with “In Love for a While” (19) (public: 25th/jury: 23rd)

Televoting results

1 Azerbaijan 223
2 Sweden 221
3 Greece 176
4 Ukraine 168
5 United Kingdom 166
6 Bosnia 151
7 Georgia 138
8 Russia 138
9 Germany 113
10 Ireland 101
11 Italy 099
12 Moldova 098
13 Serbia 089
14 Romania 079
15 France 076
16 Spain 073
17 Hungary 064
18 Denmark 061
19 Iceland 060
20 Lithuania 055
21 Finland 047
22 Slovenia 039
23 Estonia 032
24 Austria 025
25 Switzerland 002

Jury results

1 Italy 251
2 Azerbaijan 182
3 Denmark 168
4 Slovenia 160
5 Austria 145
6 Ireland 119
7 Ukraine 117
8 Serbia 111
9 Sweden 106
10 Germany 104
11 Bosnia 090
12 France 090
13 Romania 086
14 Greece 084
15 Moldova 082
16 Finland 075
17 Georgia 079
18 Estonia 074
19 Iceland 072
20 Lithuania 066
21 Hungary 060
22 United Kingdom 057
23 Switzerland 053
24 Spain 038
25 Russia 025

In terms of how much the jury's voting affected the final placings, here are how much they affected each country (six countries' combined positions matched the public vote, but all were affected by the jury vote).

The following 10 countries benefitted from jury voting:
Denmark +13 places
Slovenia +9
Italy +9
Austria +6
Moldova +3
Ireland +2
Lithuania +1
Finland - no change
France - no change
Switzerland - no change

However, the following 15 countries were hindered by the jury voting:
Russia -8 places
Spain -7
UK -6
Greece -4
Romania -3
Georgia -2
Sweden -1
Germany -1
Serbia -1
Iceland -1
Estonia -1
Bosnia - no change
Hungary - no change
Ukraine - no change
Azerbaijan - no change

The Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Final

1. Paradise Oskar - Da Da Dam (Finland)
Not as nonsensical as it sounds- it's actually that Eurovision staple: the save-the-world song. It's a mid-tempo acoustic ballad that increases in production as goes on. Not the strongest voice in the world, however, but it stands out in the same way Tom Dice's "Me and My Guitar" did last year.
A Jeff Brazier lookalike, a guitar, a massive LED globe. A simple, but effective performance for a simple, but effective song. He sang it well, through it did drip of more than a little schmaltz, and came across more than a little smug.

2. Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind (Bosnia & Herzegovina)
A somewhat plodding piano track, lifted with some soaring strings and a nice vocal melody. A grower.
Good use of the LED screen, and they did the best to fill the stage. The vocals weren't quite spot on though, and it just didn't have the impact that the song alone has.

3. A Friend In London - New Tomorrow (Denmark)
An old-school, scarf-waving anthemic ballad with a very familiar melody.
Odd that they've placed a guy with a tall blond quiff on before Jedward. They actually did a decent job of selling the song for me- another one of the few that's moved up on my list.

4. Evelina Sasenko - C'est Ma Vie (Lithuania)
A simple, old-fashioned piano ballad, the kind of thing Ireland kept winning with in the 1990s. Nothing memorable, but sweet enough. It stands out amongst some of the rowdier tracks, but not really in its own right. And, despite its title, it is sung mostly in English.
She sang it very well, but it's still nothing to write home about.

5. Kati Wolf - What About My Dreams? (Hungary)
It's pure Eurovision- high energy, big production, big notes, key changes, repetitive refrains, and a damn catchy chorus. Right up my street, even if it's a bit old school for today's Eurovision. A definite favourite of mine.
Not a fan of the demented facial expressions, the surprising lack of stage presence, the horrid outfit, the disappointing vocals, and the loss of the second verse. But it's a great song. Honest.

6. Jedward - Lipstick (Ireland)
Having failed to even qualify past the semis in recent years, Ireland literally have nothing to lose at this point, and so have entered the truly terrible, talentless twins. Featuring the line "Am I heading for a car crash?" It's jumpy, rowdy, shouty and, although I hate myself for this, I can't get it out of my head. (Whisper it: I quite like it.)
But when performed live... Ah, THAT's the Jedward I remember from X Factor. Phew, I was really worried I'd enjoy that. The outfits were awful, the vocals were worse. Car crash indeed.

7. Eric Saade - Popular (Sweden)
High NRG Euro kitsch, with a critic-baiting title. Very memorable, and great fun. Probably the most "Eurovision" song in the contest this year. After my initial eye-rolling reaction, this has become one of my biggest growers.
The vocals weren't 100% but that performance just shot that song way up my list of favourites. Had no idea what Eric looked like before this, but he gave it his all.

8. Getter Jaani - Rockefeller Street (Estonia)
A nicely quirky pop song that mixes up carnival kitsch with military beats, guitars and a full-on, foot-stomping chorus. In fact, it seems to have three different choruses in one. An oddity, but one of my favourites.
A nicely energetic, colourful performance. But yikes on the voice. Not sure it sold the song in its best light, but still strong enough.

9. Loucas Yiorkas feat. Stereo Mike - Watch My Dance (Greece)
I guess Greece couldn't be bothered this year. A bizarrely-rhythmed mishmash that meanders when it moves outside of the (admittedly rather lovely) chorus, whilst verses are spoken, rather than rapped. In truth, a bit of a mess.
Nicely staged, strong vocals, handsome singer... but it's a very odd song, and the rapper is simply terrible.

10. Alexei Vorobyov - Get You (Russia)
Takes a while to get going, then hits a nicely modern vibe before reaching its air-punching "Oh-oh" chorus. Another slow grower.
You're fit, but my gosh don't you know it. Strong vocals, strong visuals, good song. Points off for the winks to camera and overdone choreography, but points back on for the effective lighting on the clothing.

11. Amaury Vassili - Songu (France)
Eurovision goes opera. Well, sort of. It sounds like a deleted song from Les Miserables. Which is no bad thing, by any means, but even Andrew Lloyd-Webber didn't take it to this extreme two years ago. Oddly, bits of it remind me of Whitney's "Didn't We Almost Have It All" mixed with Ravel's Bolero.
Unfortunately, his live vocals were off-key for the first half, and the staging was quite dull.

12. Raphael Gualazzi - Madness of Love (Italy)
So Italy are back for the first time this century. Having heard this, I really don't think they should have bothered. I'm picturing a drunkard singing to himself outside a Roman cafe. Customers are leaving in droves. Isn't there a manager or something to move him on? And the pay-off is that last note. Very good of him to hold it out like that, it's the gift that just keeps on giving. Truly painful.
The live performance added nothing.

13. Anna Rossinelli- In Love For A While (Switzerland)
A bright, summery, breezy, semi-acoustic folksy track. Very pleasant.
A nicely simple staging- two guys with instruments, pretty girl in the middle with bright summery visuals. A perfect match for the bright, summery song. The vocals were spot-on too.

14. Blue - I Can (UK)
I've always liked Blue, even as soloists, and they haven't ditched the old formula. This would probably be their comeback single, Eurovision or not, but features a typically Eurovision message of positivity. It's modern and memorable, something we haven't entered in Eurovision for a decade or so. I like it. So there.
I must admit I wasn't that keen on what they did to the first half of the first chorus, but they more than made up for it with the rest. And Simon Webbe's pecs didn't hurt.

15. Zdob Si Zdub - So Lucky (Moldova)
Surely this year's comedy entry? Rowdy, shouty nonsense. I'm not laughing. Nil points.
Hats off (or on) for the visuals. Eat your hearts out, Pet Shop Boys. Shame about the racket. Someone forgot to tell them it's a SONG contest.

16. Lena - Taken By A Stranger (Germany)
Germany have decided to re-enter the mockney girl who won it for them last year. But why on Earth this song was chosen is beyond me. I'm not sure I'd want to hear what its competitors were. It plods along with a Bontempi beat like a play-once b-side, going nowhere fast. It's not terrible, but only stands out in how it doesn't stand out. Very German in that it sounds like Kraftwerk (feat. Kate Nash).
As for the live staging, they gave it a nice cool vibe, but the song still goes nowhere.

17. Hotel FM - Change (Romania)
Yes, the "change" does refer to changing the world. Starts off sounding like a Take That song on which Mark Owen would sing lead vocals, then sounds like it fell in from the 1984 contest. Sometimes these Eurovision clichés do indeed write themselves. It's alright, but... whatever. (Rolls eyes).
They kept it all relatively simple, and the live vocals were strong. But it sounded SO old-fashioned, and not in a cool retro kind of way, like the Serbian entry.

18. Nadine Beiler - The Secret Is Love (Austria)
A big, big, showstopping ballad. Think Christina Aguilera's "The Voice Within" and you'll be in the ballpark. More so as it goes on.
It was a great idea to let the song sell itself. Nadine's vocals were excellent, and the sparkly staging worked brilliantly.

19. Ell & Nikki - Running Scared (Azerbaijan)
From the same songwriting team that brought you last year's fab Azerbaijan ballad, "Drip Drop". Again, it's a big, well-produced, mid-tempo ballad. Definitely one of this year's best.
And, much like last year's Azerbaijan entry, it's absolutely terrible live. The staging was all very dramatic with longing glances and pyrotechnic rain... but another one of the favourites might have just blown it.

20. Maja Keuc - No One (Slovenia)
A big, crashing piano ballad. Big, strong, dramatic production. Reminds me of Russia's "Never Let You Go" from 2006, but better. If you told me it was an unreleased recording from Christina Aguilera's "Stripped" album, I'd believe you.
This would have made a much bigger impact earlier in the line-up, as unfortunately Austria's singer out-performed her. She did a decent job, but didn't lift it into a winning league.

21. Sjonni's Friends - Coming Home (Iceland)
This song requires a quick story beforehand, as it may appear inexplicably popular. The original singer (and songwriter) Sjonni died just before he was due to perform this at Iceland's song selection competition. His friends stepped in to sing it for him, and got through.
It's a bizarre song that sounds like a bunch of drunken friends around a piano in a pub. It certainly stands out musically, and has an undeniable charm. A definite grower, as there's a great melody in there once you get over the silly oom-pah-pah production.
Despite being distracted by David Brent (played by Pauline Quirke), I thought they did a more than decent job of what must have been a very tough performance. Still not a fan of the song's overly folksy production, but there's a decent melody in there. They did their friend proud.

22. Lucia Perez - Que Me Quiten Lo Bailao (Spain)
I literally cannot remember the last time I liked a Eurovision entry from Spain at all, let alone this much. As they go, it's pretty good. Nicely traditional, catchy and largely inoffensive. I can't help but sing and move along every time I hear it.
They didn't exactly go for broke in the backdrop, but did some nice choreography. The voice wasn't great either, but the songs still rather pleasant.

23. Mika Newton - Angel (Ukraine)
A mid-tempo electro-ballad with a melody that deceptively gets under your skin by the end. I can't help but sing along every time.
Mika did an ace job with some very difficult vocals. Best use of the LED screen so far, courtesy of Ukraine's Got Talent. Inspired.

24. Nina - Čaroban (Serbia)
A very retro vibe - think 1960s Carnaby Street. Very pleasant, and another big grower.
The psychedelic 60s sound was matched perfectly with the colourful visuals and outfits. Keeping the stage bright worked well too as it held your attention much better than the previous, darker performances. Unfortunately the vocals weren't up to scratch on the final. The semifinal was way better.

25. Eldrine - One More Day (Georgia)
Starts off like a Natalie Imbruglia album track before going all nu-metal, with a fusion of heavy guitar, screechy vocals and rap. Pretty good; modern and musically relevant.
Odd costume choices, in that they looked like costumes, rather than clothes, but comes with a powerful, confident rock performance that fits the song.

Since I can't vote for the UK, my douze points would have gone to Latvia and dix to Netherlands. But now they're out of the competition, my points after the final is screened are as follows:

12 Sweden
10 Hungary
8 Russia
7 Estonia
6 Denmark
5 Ukraine
4 Ireland
3 Azerbaijan
2 Finland
1 Iceland

N.B. That list has changed quite a few times, and no doubt will change again. On songs alone, the list is different again- but the live performance is such an important part of the show, it has definitely been taken into account. But the be all and end all is the song, as this was my final order as voting closed.

The standing with the UK bookies as voting closed was as follows:
1. France (came 15th)
2. Ireland (came 8th)
3. Azerbaijan (winners)
4. UK (came 11th)
5. Estonia (came 24th)

I disagreed with the bookies' choice of France. I thought it'd win the 50% jury votes, but not so much with the public, especially the younger viewers. Based on crowd reaction in the semis, I had a sneaky feeling it'd be between the UK and Finland. My prediction for the top 5 was;

1. UK (came 11th)
2. Finland (came 21st)
3. Ireland (came 8th)
4. Russia (came 16th)
5. France (came 15th)

Okay, so I - along with pretty much everyone else - was way out. Azerbaijan was an early favourite of mine (as they were last year), but the live performances put me off the song. But I didn't expect it to do well, as it was a weaker song than last year's under-performing Drip Drop.

The Italian song (2nd) was utter bollocks, I'll never understand why it did so well, nor why the UK scored it so highly.

Glad to see Sweden do well, though. Popular is a great song and Eric Saade gave a strong performance, even if his vocals weren't 100%.

Ukraine came 4th, largely thanks to the beautiful staging, though I genuinely loved the song, even if some expect it to be due to family bias!

Denmark's scarf-waving anthem came a respectable 5th.

2/3 of the top 5 were Western countries, yet we're still hearing cries of political bias. If so, why did strong contenders Estonia come 24th? Even the mighty Russia only managed 16th with a Red One song. When these Eastern bloc countries got together to decide to vote for each other, why were these two ostracised? Or maybe, you know, it DIDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN. The top 5 were clearly the favourites all over the map.

Although I will admit, there was definitely some political voting. Cyprus gave Greece their traditional douze points, and Ireland got 12 points from United Kingdom.

See you in Baku next year for more dashed British hopes. Blue for #1! come on, who's with me? Anyone? Hello...?

Eurovision 2011 - Semifinal 2

1. Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind (Bosnia & Herzegovina)
Good use of the LED screen, and they did the best to fill the stage. The vocals weren't quite spot on though, and it just didn't have the impact that the song alone has.
Verdict: Maybe
Result: Through

2. Nadine Beiler - The Secret Is Love (Austria)
It was a great idea to let the song sell itself. Nadine's vocals were excellent, and the sparkly staging worked brilliantly.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Through

3. 3JS - Never Alone (The Netherlands)
One of my favourites, though I appear to be alone in that. They did a cracking job. I'd vote for them if I could.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Out

4. Witloof Bay - With Love Baby (Belgium)
No. Just no. Thankfully, their vocals weren't quite up to it anyway. Hell on Earth.
Verdict: HELL NO
Result: Out

5. Twiins - I'm Still Alive (Slovakia)
Two very pretty girls sing a very pretty song very prettily. Shame the backing vocalists decided to fuck it up for them.
Verdict: Yes (just)
Result: Out

6. Mika Newton - Angel (Ukraine)
Mika did an ace job with some very difficult vocals. Best use of the LED screen so far, courtesy of Ukraine's Got Talent. Inspired. I like the song too, btw...!
Verdict: Yes
Result: Through

7. Zdob Si Zdub - So Lucky (Moldova)
Hats off for the visuals. Eat your hearts out, Pet Shop Boys. Shame about the racket. Someone forgot to tell them it's a SONG contest.
Verdict: No
Result: Through

8. Eric Saade - Popular (Sweden)
The vocals weren't 100% but that performance just shot that song way up my list of favourites. Had no idea what Eric looked like before this, but he gave it his all.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Through

9. Christos Mylordos - San Aggelos S'Agapisa (Cyprus)
What a phenomenal performance! Loved the MJ tilts and weird light balls. Still a useless song though.
Verdict: No
Result: Out

10. Poli Genova - Na Inat (Bulgaria)
I'm not sure they did the song justice, but it was a strong vocal and I loved the splashy backdrop.
Verdict: Maybe
Result: Out

11. Vlatko Ilievski - Rusinka (FYR Macedonia)
Another great use of the backdrop, with its effective 3D effect. When I hear this song I always pictured Cossack dancers. It appears I wasn't alone. Dreadful song though.
Verdict: No
Result: Out

12. Dana International - Ding Dong (Israel)
Not the strongest vocalist in the world, but she looked fabulous. After some mediocre performances, this has actually stood out in a good way. And the new remix kept me interested too.
Verdict: Maybe
Result: Out

13. Maja Keuc - No One (Slovenia)
This would have made a much bigger impact earlier, but unfortunately Austria's singer out-performed her. She did a decent job, but didn't lift it into a winning league.
Verdict: Maybe
Result: Through

14. Hotel FM - Change (Romania)
They kept it all relatively simple, and the live vocals were strong. But it sounded SO old-fashioned, and not in a cool Serbian retro kind of way.
Verdict: Maybe
Result: Through

15. Getter Jaani - Rockefeller Street (Estonia)
A nicely energetic, colourful performance. But yikes on the voice. Not sure it sold the song in its best light, but still strong enough.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Through

16. Anastasiya Vinnikova – I Love Belarus (Belarus)
The monochrome look actually worked in a way I didn't expect. Given how poor the vocals are on CD, she actually did a decent job.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Out

17. Musiqq - Angel In Disguise (Latvia)
The lead singer did a fantastic job with a very wordy song. A very understated performance, letting the song sell itself. Still my favourite.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Out

18. A Friend In London - New Tomorrow (Denmark)
Odd that they've placed a guy with a tall blond quiff on before Jedward. They actually did a decent job of selling the song for me- another one of the few that's moved up on my list.
Verdict: Yes
Result: Through

19. Jedward - Lipstick (Ireland)
Ah, THAT's the Jedward I remember. Phew, I was really worried I'd enjoy that. The outfits were awful, the vocals were worse. Car crash indeed.
Verdict: Yes. What the hell.
Result: Through

So Latvia and Netherlands didn't make it. :-(

Moldova did. 'Nuff said.

Eurovision 2011 - Semifinal 1

I've already reviewed this year's songs on this blog (see April 2011 down the right-hand side), so this is something of an update. I have put this on my music blog (rather than my TV blog) as this is intended to be a critique on how well the songs were performed live, rather than the show itself. I've also added my verdict on the chances of each song getting through, and the actual result. Given that (in most cases) I didn't even know what these people looked like, let alone how they would be staged, there were bound to be some big surprises. And there certainly were.

Firstly, I wish Scott Mills would stop trying to be Terry Wogan with his commentary. He isn't Terry Wogan, and I for one am grateful for that. However, he was largely positive and witty, and most of the barbed insults came from the viewers' tweets that he read out, rather than him.
Secondly, Sara Cox is the devil incarnate and should never been seen or heard. Ever. Especially on TV. I don't know what the original German broadcast was showing during her bits, but it cannot have been worse than what we had to put up with from her.
Thirdly, the overall staging of the show in Dusseldorf is superb. The stage is massive, and the LED backdrop looks fantastic. Fair play, Germany have pulled out all the stops in spectacular fashion. I won't be commenting on the German presenters, particularly since we don't get to hear much of them anyway.

And, finally, the songs...

1. Magdalena Tul - Jestem (Poland)
First song of the contest... better make a good impression, then. Or not. For starters, the vocals were not great, and far from improved as the song went on. The backup singers only made matters worse, especially when Magdalena decided to leave them do most of the chorus whilst she "yeah yeah"d and strutted about. As for the staging, basic white outfits, basic patterns on the back screen, and jets of steam. Way to make an impact.
Verdict: Nope.
Result: Out.

2. Stella Mwangi - Haba Haba (Norway)
On record, Stella's voice isn't great, so it was no big shock when she was absolutely terrible live. But it's a big song that made me picture a big, multicoloured stage-filled extravaganza. But it wasn't quite. The Whigfield-esque interlude leant itself nicely to a memorable dance routine... But no.
Verdict: Disappointingly, no.
Result: Out.

3. Aurela Gace - Feel The Passion (Albania)
Nice wings effect on the rear screen, and the vocals were very strong, as they needed to be. The pyrotechnics were good too. Overall, turned a so-so song into a potential contender.
Verdict: Maybe.
Result: Out.

4. Emmy - Boom Boom (Armenia)
One of the more memorable songs (for good or bad), but oddly staged with a distracting giant boxing glove. Wisely, most of the dancing was left to the men with the bulging pecs, so in theory the female vocals wouldn't suffer... Unfortunately, they did.
Verdict: Maybe.
Result: Out.

5. Yuksek Sadakat - Live It Up (Turkey)
The song sounded pretty good live, as you should expect from a rock band, although the look was a bit 80s hair metal (except for the bald singer of course). The contortionist in the hamster cage only distracted from what is actually a pretty good song.
Verdict: Yes.
Result: Out. A big shock.

6. Nina - Charoban (Serbia)
The psychedelic 60s sound was matched perfectly with the colourful visuals and outfits. Keeping the stage bright worked well too as it held your attention much better than the previous, darker performances. Add in the excellent vocals, and they have greatly improved their chances.
Verdict: Maybe.
Result: Through.

7. Alexej Vorobjov - Get You (Russia)
You're fit, but my gosh don't you know it. Strong vocals, strong visuals, good song. Points off for the winks to camera and overdone choreography, but points back on for the effective lighting on the clothing.
Verdict: Yes.
Result: Through.

8. Anna Rossinelli - In Love For A While (Switzerland)
A nicely simple staging- two guys with instruments, pretty girl in the middle with bright summery visuals. A perfect match for the bright, summery song. The vocals were spot-on too.
Verdict: Yes.
Result: Through. A pleasant surprise.

9. Eldrine - One More Day (Georgia)
Odd costume choices, in that they looked like costumes, rather than clothes. But it's a modern nu-metal song, with a powerful performance.
Verdict: Maybe.
Result: Through.

10. Paradise Oskar - Da Da Dam (Finland)
A Jeff Brazier lookalike, a guitar, a massive LED globe. A simple, but effective performance for a simple, but effective song. He sang it well, through it did drip of more than a little schmaltz.
Verdict: Yes. Despite myself.
Result: Through. A no-brainer.

11. Glen Vella - One Life (Malta)
On the CD, I thought that this was sung by a woman! It turns out to be Justin, the gay nephew from Ugly Betty, who gives his all in an energetic song that goes nowhere. It was all very colourful and he seemed to have a ball. Good for him.
Verdict: No.
Result: Out. Another no-brainer.

12. Senit - Stand By (San Marino)
One of the most forgettable (though not unpleasant) songs in the contest, this needed something special to stick in the mind. Unfortunately the performance was as competently bland as the song.
Verdict: No.
Result: Out.

13. Daria - Celebrate (Croatia)
I honestly thought this was sung by a man. Apparently not. I think. Even a Jerry Sadowitz lookalike and two impressive on-stage costume changes couldn't make up for the dodgy vocals. It felt like watching someone making the most of a party to which nobody else turned up.
Verdict: No.
Result: Out.

14. Sjonni's Friends: Coming Home (Iceland)
This song requires a quick story beforehand, as it may appear inexplicably popular. The original singer (and songwriter) Sjonni died just before he was due to perform this at Iceland's song selection competition. His friends stepped in to sing it for him, and got through. And, despite being distracted by David Brent (played by Pauline Quirke), I thought they did a more than decent job of what must have been a very tough performance. Still not a fan of the song's overly folksy production, but there's a decent melody in there. They did their friend proud.
Verdict: Yes.
Result: Through.

15. Kati Wolf - What About My Dreams? (Hungary)
Not a fan of the demented facial expressions, the surprising lack of stage presence, the horrid outfit, the disappointing vocals, and the loss of the second verse. But it's a great song. Honest.
Verdict: Yes, but only for the song.
Result: Through.

16. Homens Da Luta - A Luta E Alegria (Portugal)
The "comedy" protest song. Or a multicoloured update on The Village People. I'm not sure what they're protesting, but it appears to be music. Even they looked bored by the end of the first minute.
Verdict: Hell no.
Result: Out. T.F.

17. Evelina Sashenko - C'est Ma Vie (Lithuania)
A simple, old-fashioned piano ballad, the kind of thing Ireland kept winning with in the 1990s. She sang it very well, but it's still nothing to write home about.
Verdict: No.
Result: Surprisingly, through! But then, anything would sound good after Portugal's.

18. Ell / Nikki - Running Scared (Azerbaijan)
Much like last year's Azerbaijan entry, it's a fab, nicely produced ballad, and is absolutely terrible live. The staging was all very dramatic with longing glances and pyrotechnic rain... but another one of the favourites might have just blown it.
Verdict: Yes, but again only for the song.
Result: Through.

19. Loucas Yiorkas feat. Stereo Mike - Watch My Dance (Greece)
Nicely staged, strong vocals, handsome singer... but it's a very odd song, and the rapper is simply terrible.
Verdict: No.
Result: Of course it's through, it's Greece.

Overall verdict:
I can't really disagree too much with the results. The two strongest songs (Azerbaijan & Hungary) made it through, despite two of the weakest performances, and some expected favourites (Norway, Turkey, Armenia) have fallen by the wayside in favour of unexpectedly strong performances from the likes of Switzerland, Lithuania and Serbia.

However, it's definitely the weaker of the two semis, in terms of the songs. There are at least a dozen songs in the second semi that deserve to go through, and I know who I want the ten qualifiers to be, so competition will be tough.

Expect me to be very unhappy by this time on Thursday.

Eurovision 2011 - or, Why The UK Have Done So Badly At Eurovision In Recent Years.

In two weeks' time, the Eurovision Song Contest 2011 takes place. All 43 participating songs have been decided, and the album containing every song is out. So, in a run-up to the competition, on a day when Brits are proudly flying their flag, here are a few thoughts on the United Kingdom in Eurovision as it currently stands.

Living in the UK, I know that I am in the vast VAST minority of those who absolutely adore Eurovision. And I don't mean in an ironic, sneery, let's-all-laugh-at-the-foreigners kind of way. In a genuine, music-loving way. Yes, the kitsch, glitter, cheese, costumes and dodgy choreography aren't (always) to be taken seriously, and I can laugh at it, as much as I can laugh with it. Anyone who's read my American Idol/X Factor blogs can attest to that. If I hated the shows as much as I appear to, I wouldn't watch them.

But I honestly wish that the UK took Eurovision more seriously, for simple, sensible reasons. And it's not because we haven't won for 14 years.

British music has always been at the forefront of the world's music scene, particularly the Western world. America may have taken over, and British acts famously struggle in the States- but in Europe, many British acts are as successful across Europe (and indeed the world) as they are at home. So why don't we do better at Eurovision?

The loudest cry is "politics". I cry back, "bollocks". Yes, there are a few countries that may choose to do so (Greece and Cyprus- GUILTY!), and it would be naive to suggest otherwise. But it's only on a limited scale. Each country gets 10 votes (totalling 58 points), and all the bias in the world can't affect a barrage of decent scores from the countries that voted on the music. There may be 25 countries performing in the final, but all 43 participating countries get to vote, even if eliminated at the semifinals. This makes a total of 2494 points on offer.

Plus, we have to bear in mind that several countries simply share tastes more so than politics, so a jaunty song full of accordions and fiddles will likely go down better in one country than a boy band ballad would, and vice versa in another country. Statistics show that the UK is as guilty of "political" bias, as we nearly always vote for Ireland, Sweden and Greece. But is it out of some sense of political affiliation, or because we simply share a more similar musical taste?

The biggest "political" grumble of late has been that of Eastern Europe vs Western Europe. In particular, over the last decade, a huge number of winners have been from dissolved Eastern European states. Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Croatia and Russia- all newcomers, all neighbours, many used to belong to the same country, all "obviously" voting for each other, right? Well, no. All of those winners were getting high scores from neighbours, but they couldn't have won without a substantial vote from the Western countries as well. Three of the other five winners were Western countries anyway; Finland, Norway and, most recently, Germany. The remaining two winners were Greece and Turkey, both old-school Eurovision stalwarts, so you could argue that they might actually belong in the second group more so than the first.

I can sum up quite easily why UK do poorly at Eurovision. And it's OUR fault. During our selection process, we had the likes of Terry "I clearly hate Eurovision" Wogan patronisingly advising us not to vote for the best song, but for the song we think the Europeans will like. So we kept sending songs to Eurovision that even we wouldn't buy. Well, Terry's gone and we're still doing it. Here are some recent examples.

In 2008, the UK sent X Factor runner-up Andy Abraham to the competition. The song charted in the UK at #67. More than a dozen UK acts were ahead of him in the chart- so why weren't any of them sent to Eurovision? The UK didn't even like the song in enough numbers to get it into the top 40. Why the hell would we expect Europe to be any different? And what was the Eurovision result? Last place.

However, the next year, something interesting happened. The BBC took it upon themselves to appoint Andrew Lloyd-Webber as the songwriter. He then enlisted American uber-hitmaker Diane Warren to collaborate with the lyrics. Straight away, you have two internationally successful, known-by-name songwriters on board. Once the UK had chosen their singer, Jade Ewen, she and Andrew began a tour of participating countries, promoting the song, getting Andrew's name out there and demonstrating how UK were finally taking the contest seriously again. The UK, having not chosen the song, were somewhat lukewarm to it, and it charted at #50. Once it did surprisingly well at Eurovision, coming an impressive 5th (FIFTH!) place, it jumped up to #27.

Last year, 80s/90s pop maestro Pete Waterman was chosen to write the UK song. Unfortunately, the resulting song sounded at least a decade out-of-date, and it backfired badly. With little of the previous year's promotion across Europe, we ended up just sending an unknown, inexperienced performer to promote yet another poor song too weak to stand for itself. It didn't go well. The song charted in the UK at a shocking #179, and we came last place. Again.

The public have had no say whatsoever in either the song or performer this year. Instead, the BBC have selected to revive boy-band Blue; a band that was successful across Europe, just half a decade ago. It is a smart idea. Denying the public the right to choose the song is not without its risks. But with our track record of selecting, maybe the BBC did the right thing this year. A large section of the British public are grumbling that the song is terrible. It isn't. Blue haven't deviated from their previous sound, so if you liked Blue last time round, you'll probably like this. If you didn't, you probably won't. "I Can" is not a "Eurovision" song, but a contemporary pop song, and a definite grower, as long as it gets heard enough.

One of the keys to success will be the song's release. By the time Germany's "Satellite" by Lena won last year, it had been a huge hit across Europe, including #1 in several competing countries. Its release was held back in the UK, so it not only got poor scores from us, but was a flash-in-the-pan minor hit after it won, charting at #30 before dropping fast. A shame, as it not only adds bona fide musical credibility to the competition by being a genuine European hit and a modern, contemporary winner that sounds like no previous winner... It's also sung in a "mockney" style that's copying British artists such as Kate Nash and Lily Allen. Last place; British act. First place; someone copying a British act. In short, it's something the UK could have done in our sleep, had we chosen to. In fact, Germany have chosen to do it again, with Lena representing Germany again this year.

Chances are, the new single from Blue would be a big hit across Europe with or without Eurovision. We just need to get it out there, promote it, play it, release it. Get it in the charts BEFORE the competition so that its popularity can grow. Luckily, the song comes out in the UK this weekend, giving it time to chart before the competition. Blue are currently touring Europe and beyond, promoting the song, rehearsing and refining their performance in the process. If the song's just not good enough, fair enough, we'll have to try harder next year. And if we win, we'll try even harder. However, we are currently second favourites to win (behind... shock horror... a Western European country, France).

If the UK can enjoy the big-budget musical competitions like The X Factor, Britain's Got Talent, Over The Rainbow, etc. etc., then why not celebrate a multinational musical showcase? One that demands original material and a live performance? The music is certainly no worse than the glorified karaoke on these talent shows, and in many cases, much better.

Eurovision is no longer just the one, annual night of television. It's a three-day event, comprising of approximately eight hours of TV. The problem is, in the UK the semi-finals are buried away on BBC3. I wonder how many people in the UK are aware that Eurovision semi finals even exist? There'll be 25 songs performed at the final on May 15th. So that means 18 songs that don't make it. And it's not the best ones that go through, trust me. Ever year at least two or three of my favourites fail to qualify, and it will certainly happen again this year. Jedward fans be aware- they're performing on Thursday night and have to qualify to make it to Saturday's final. The UK automatically qualify- Ireland don't.

The UK automatically qualify because of how much money we invest in the EBU (European Broadcasting Union, Eurovision's producers)- so why not get our money's worth and show the Eurovision Semi Finals live on prime time BBC1? Is it simply because we don't compete, so have no reason to watch? Given how infuriated we get at watching ourselves lose, it might do us some good to watch the competition with some genuine objectivity. And you never know, we might actually discover some decent pop music in the process.

With download sales now counting toward the UK chart, there is an annual stream of Eurovision songs entering after they've been heard on each contest. And it's not just the winners or UK entries. So the music that people like is out there, and in the competition. It's a shame that we in the UK choose to give them just the one day of exposure. For some reason, the UK releases are held back until the last minute. The songs will be performed on the show, chart (maybe), then promptly be forgotten about.

Across Europe, massive shows similar to X Factor exist purely FOR Eurovision. This is our/their chance to sell music to over 40 other countries. Why even consider sending anything but the very best to represent your country?

The next time you complain that Europeans don't want to give us any points, ask yourselves, "which came first? The crappy scores, or our lack of interest?" Cry political, if you like, but you're wrong. We're not being punished because we're British. We're not even being punished because we're not taking it seriously. We're not as important to the rest of Europe as we like to think we are. We're just not submitting music that people, even in our own country, want to vote for, buy or listen to. And we're missing out on some great European music in the process.

Here's hoping that Blue finally persuade us to buck the trend.